FICTIONAL FRIENDS ♪☺☻♫ June 11th 2012

LAST BLOG!!! WOOHOO!!!!!

If I were to have a friend who doesn't exist (all of them!). Okay, I'm just kidding, but for a more serious matter, if I were to truly have a fictional friend, it would definately be Peter Griffin. Who wouldn't want him as a friend? He's funny and not very logical. Though I should admit he DOES have some logic behind his actions. And any experiences I'd have with him would be.... different. Plus, I'd definately re-do Jackass with him and his friends, I'd so be the camerawoman. You know, so I don't have to go through any pain.

Elderly B*tchfest! June 7th 2012

So, imagine if that blink song by that country dude. Well, as the computer neighbour informed me, it's called 'Don't Blink' by Kenny Whats-his-name. His last name has something to do with trees. But, anyway, that song is pretty much talking about if you blink your life will sort of zoom on by. Kind of like, You're here getting married, don't mind me and they slide to their kids moving out. Now, I've only heard this song like once or twice so cut me some slack.
But let's say it's something like THAT song and 'Back to the Future' (actually now that I think about it, I want to watch that movie), and I blink multiple times and jump into a car and zoom through my life...until I'm an old woman. 80 years old at that, and I'm a grumpy old woman with 3 kids and a husband who died about 3 years before. (Notice those 3's?) And I'm a major complainer, MAJOR! So, here's me complaining, don't mind me...

Kids these days! I swear, they are so whiny! 'I want this! I want that! My friends have blackberry phones, why can't I!? NOBODY LOVES ME!!!' Ok, YOU DON'T NEED A FREAKING BLACKBERRY!! If you have 3 buisnesses and you work and you fly around the world, be my guest, but 10 year olds who major trips involve going to the supermarket, you shouldn't even HAVE a cell phone, never mind a Blackberry. Now I'm going to take a minor detour here back as a Grade 9, even NOW I don't think ANYONE who doesn't own a buisness or travels a lot needs a Blackberry, I literally do not! I have nothing else to say. I lose more faith in humanity EVERY DAY!

Summer Pa®adise☺ June 5th 2012

EXPLANATORY
I will probably spend summer vacation as I always do, take it as it comes. Let the good times roll. I never plan anything, considering they never actually happen in any way, shape, or form. I (usually) love surprises, so when they come along I take them gratefully. But, if anything were known for sure, I'm going to the EX and the Icelandic Festival with Taylor and I will (most likely) be going camping. Oh! And I'll be 'apprenticing' at a hair salon.
NARRATIVE
There was one time during summer, around mid-August, and I was in the city with Lauren when I saw the most interesting sight ever. There was this really tall guy (at LEAST 6' 6", he was HUGE) and this really short woman about 20 years old (maybe like 5 feet tall). Lauren was in the bathroom, but this guy was wearing skinny jeans and a beret (a BERET) and this HUGE beard, while the woman was wearing a super-short hot pink denim skirt with a low-cut tank top. Her fingernails were like three inches long! Yes, well, there were making out on those vibrating chairs, and OH! it was hilarious, I couldn't help but laugh. Not because I'm rude, it was just funny.
PERSUASIVE
To whom it may concern,

I am a long-time resident of Arborg, Manitoba and I am shocked at the laziness that has come about for the entertainment of students. How many students do you know that are going to meet at Chicken Chef for some 'coffee' or stop at Home Hardware for tools? Explain that to me. There is only so much a student can go to the pool or to the Bargain Shop during the summer. Yes, there is a drop-in center which is great and everything, but how about the younger kids, like the 12-and-under year olds?The ones that aren't in grade 7 or 13 years old yet. They have a community pool, lots of choice there.

I have many suggestions for the youth of Arborg, maybe have a concert of some sort with local bands, OR maybe have a Laser/ Paintball Tag thing. There are many things we could do to entertain the youth, but these are just two ideas.

Recommendation Station ☼ May 31st 2012

Things I truly and gratefully recommend...
         1. Laughing at the ironicness of 'The Real Housewives of Vancouver'.
Yes, that terrible show on once every week. By ironicness I mean this one woman who complains, "I AM SO POOR!" Then the week after that. "I'm going out for lunch with Mary, I like to fly my plane into the city so I don't have to bother with driving." She lives about one mile outside of the city! If she's poor, I'm barely scraping by.
         2. Southern Gravy & Biscuits
I have family members from the South (they say y'all and EVERYTHING!) and whenever I see them they make homemade gravy and biscuits. The. Best. Frickin'. Food. EVER!!!
         3. Lobster
When this red-hot dish is served with shell crackers and melted butter, it makes the angel's sing while riding down a rainbow on a unicorn pegasus that can play the piccolo.
         4. The sound of a child's laughter
Peter Griffin got something right when he said this is the greatest gift. Plus, they just have hilarious laughs.
         5. Power 97.5
Who doesn't love rock n' roll?? This is a personal favourite of mine, though it sucks that this station doesn't work out here.


☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Blue Foam May 29th 2012

First off, I'd like to begin by saying, It's my birthday. YAAAAYYY!!!

This story starts in a world many galaxies away, a young leviathan* was roaming the ocean floor, his patience dropping. His mother had gone out to get pepperoni hot pockets TWO DAYS AGO! Now two days later, she still hasn't arrived. Ah! There she is now!
"Mother! I have been starving for days! Where are my frickin' hot pockets!," the prince bellowed, shaking the ocean floor. The mother, queen Tabithia, sighed, "Here, dear." He rummaged through the bag and shrieked, "ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE???! I SAID PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS!" Queen Tabithia sighed and said in a quiet, shaky voice, "No, dear." She slowly swam away. The prince was enveloped with rage, how dare she not follow my orders? I'm the man! I'm stronger than she is, my cranium is larger, and I am more likely to go to prison, I AM THE MAN!!

Meanwhile, Queen Tabithia was silently sobbing in her room. Her son is a no-good lying b*stard, but she lets him be one. "Well I could..... NO NO," she thought shaking her head, "that'd be insane, but, still...."

She didn't need much prodding when she made up her mind....

"PRINCE IS DEAD!", a newspaper boy shouted," READ ALL ABOUT IT!!"....

As you could guess, the messenger of the prince killed him. Would you like to know how? The answer was blue foam.

* A giant sea creature with glowing eyes and a nasty habit of crushing ships and devouring ocean-going humans. With its enormous body and scaly skin, Leviathan is usually referred to as a giant monstrous fish, but is also commonly described as a serpent, crocodile or marine mammal.

INFO FROM: http://animal.discovery.com/tv/a-list/creature-countdowns/mythical/mythical-07.html

The Day's of the Week Personalities April 24 2012

The blog prompt tells us to name the days of the week as personalities.
Many of us are aware of the rhyme 'Monday's Child' by A. E Brays
          Monday's child is fair of face

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child works hard for a living,

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

Just so you know 'Sabbath Day' (in religious terms) is Sunday, traditionally a day of worship. But, in my books, the days of personalities go as follows.

•    Monday is a grumpy businesswoman. She walks up and down the hallways and sidewalks, high heels clacking, screaming into her mobile phone, and (if outside) her hair blows out behind her. She pretty much ruins everyone lives, causes stress, and everyone is scared to speak up to her. She's just there, much to everyone's dislike. Her clothes are a mixture of Marc Jacobs, Prada, and Gucci and she prefers Louis Vuitton $650 handbags to WalMart briefcases at a price of $35. Blackberries are her phone of choice, and despite the rumours of a childcare facility in the basement of her multimillion dollar company, her and her employees look like they've never given birth to anything. Never mind a child.
•    Tuesday is a timid old grandmother. She sits in her rocking chair by the fire, quietly knitting, biting her bitter tongue. She is just in the background, not a big force behind things. She has many ideas and complaints, but she holds it back to keep herself under radar. Her thrift-store muumuu hides her flabby body figure and she favours socks and sandals (ugh!) on her scraggly feet. A curly snow-white bob sits atop her head, glasses on a string nestles in the soft hair. She talks in a quiet, soft voice, like talking to a wild animal she doesn't wish to harm or frighten.
•    Wednesday is a happy child. The knowledge of knowing that the weekend is coming near, two days of complete freedom, has it bouncing.
•    Thursday is a lazy slob. He sits there like a log, he doesn't work and all he does is sleep and eat. Thursday is a very long, tiring day, even if you do nothing. All you think about is our good friend Friday. He has a wife-beater on and wears pregnancy pants since he can't fit regular pants. Beer and fried chicken are his best friends and he has a prominent beer gut. Many people fear he's an alcoholic.
•    Friday is a tattooed drag queen. A thing you're always amazed to see, even though it comes around once a week for 24 hours.
•    Saturday is a party-ridden teenager.

PaintSplatter-Topia May 16th 2012

Pretty much the point the picture is making is that school is all organized into a schedule and such and life is a bunch of random paint splatters. Showing that school is nothing like life, which I totally agree with, on the academic side anyway, in life everything is unexpected while in school you know that (FOR EXAMPLE) have biology first then gym and after that math. You have no huge surprises flying at your face, or the uncertainity, you have a set life.
But, life, for example, you never know what's going to happen, you could get hit by a truck tommorow, OR you might save someones life (it just has to work. DURACELL. Trusted Everywhere.)

You didn't see that coming did you?
That was just life flying toward you in the face.

I think all the drama that goes on at school (relationships and such), school is close enough to life. Academics are just fine the way they are.

GOLF_EXTREMENESS! May 10th/14th 2012

Golf is a boring sport that involves a lot of patience and calmness. I have absolutely none of those characteristics in little ole' me. To repeatedly hit a round, white ball with a club into a hole gets quite boring fast, plus the scenery on the golf course never changes. It's always a lake to your right, a sand dune to your left, and a hole in front of you. BORING! So if golf was reinvented, say, into this extreme ultimate sport with cool scenery and random monkeys everywhere it'd be amazing. I still wouldn't play the sport considering, I am definately not the type to join in sports and actually play them, but it'd calm my nerves to watch golf on the television.
So if golf was mixed in with baseball and the whole object is to get the ball into one of the holes without the team catching it. There will be like 5 holes, the size varies, with different points, BUT you only get the point once you get to home base. So you hit the golf ball into say, the biggest hole (worth 1/2 a point) and you run but you only get to second base, you will NOT get that 1/2 point UNTIL you reach home base.

How's that for Extreme Sports?

Louis Vuitton Central! May 8th 2012

If, as a child, I was bought from a store, and being messed up for the rest of my life, I would've been from Louis Vuitton Paris. Though in any universe will I ever see my mother OR my father in such a place. My dad thinks cords are the fashion statement of the century and my mom wears sweatpants religiously.
Since no fashion genes came from either of my parents, I would've had to learn my fashion from the master himself. I'd think that's mainly the reason for my existence and purchase from a store such as LV P*.

Louis Vuitton Paris

Also, his stuff is gorgeous, though very expensive. See! That's perfect, I always see myself drawn to all the expensive items on store shelves, my mom says I use to rob her wallet when I was younger.



Retail: $4,200.00



Louis Vuitton= expensive $$

Kirstin= expensive $$

We're the perfect match.

*- Louis Vuitton Paris



My story that ends in a musical May 2nd 2012

"Listen carefully," he said with a certain steadiness, "This won't be easy for you to hear, but Belicia you lost all probability of ever hearing again." "WHAT?," Belicia spoke loudly, even for a deaf person, her voice booming off the walls. The doctor shook his head sadly and repeated, "You can't hear anything". Belicia looked at him with recognition and said, "Oh, of course, Roger just loves those fancy flying machines with them peanuts everywhere," Belicia said proudly, the doctor looked at her weirdly, but she continued on, "He says, 'Mama, them airplanes are so fun, flying an' such, through them clouds up Hiiiiigh!' and I just say, 'Boy if you ain't seeing God, it ain't worth that funny money.' The Lord is up there watching my boy flying on that death contraption an' he's shaking his head." She looked sad. Wow, the doctor thought, she is a god-fearing woman with just a son to leave. "But," she said loudly, surprising the doctor, "My boy was born an' raised a Christian an' that Lord will save 'im. As long as he says them prayers an' goes to church, which I don't think he's been doin', I love that boy to much to strap 'im, so I guess he's not doin' so good."

She suddenly stood up and rang out, "He ain't doin' so good,"while a bunch of women in Rockette outfits started waltzing into the crowded examining room, singing in sotto voices "He ain't doin' so good". "Oh my boy, Ohhh my boy ain't doin' so good", "No good, No good," followed the women. "He's ain't goin' to church", "No church, Oh no, no, no." the women repeated. "Prays are gone", "Yes gone, oh yes". Roger walked in singing, "Mama, you don't understaaand," while a bunch of firemen walk in singing, "Don't understand". "Boy, I understand too well, Oh yes, you just like your no-good papa." "Just like papa" the women screamed. Roger looked sad and dejected, and left, never to be heard from again.

Belicia Redfern was a religious, Southern woman from Mississippi who died 12 years later at a rock concert in 1969, because she got her hearing back during one of the guitar solos and died from shock.

Typing Tutor Madness May 2nd 2012

My results for Typing Tutor (DRUMROLL PLEASE!! BRRRBRBRBRBRBRBR! DING!) I could type 37 words per minute, I could probably write faster if I knew what I was actually typing. Things like fas,dj, and akkad are words I for one would never use in real life, nor would I think those words in any way,shape,or form.

The ABSOLUTELY most disgusting thing I have ever consumed April 26, 2012

I'm not quite sure what the most disgusting thing I ever ate was...I usually love whatever food I eat or whatever drink I...well, drink. I don't really have 'UGH! This absolutely terrible, I think I'll retch just thinking about it!' moments, it'd be cool if I could though. Maybe I just have a wide range of likes and a tiny, microscopic range of dislikes (In Food/Drinks anyway).
WAIT! I HAVE IT!!!!!
The most disgusting thing I have ever eaten is (Drumroll Please) (brrrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb....DUM) Tofu. Yes, Tofu, a weird white plastic vegetable thing. It tastes like burning rubber on a hot Wisconsin day. Never mind the taste, think of the tofu itself, beans crushed up into a slimy white cube, wrapped in tinfoil. (Reh!) Or maybe caviar, baby fish eggs. That sandy feeling in your teeth, even a while after eating it, it's almost like you ate a dead turtle salad, the turtle oozing grey-ish white foam everywhere, but instead of lettuce, it's sand.

OPEN Letters PART UNO! Supposed to be done on April 17th

I'm sending an open letter to a seat belt manufacturer:
Dear Sir or Madam,

Where in the right mind do you think one long piece of thick fabric is going to save lives? Who do you think you are?
Many cons that came with this creation are that (apparently) seat belts are dangerous as well as safe. You can be severely hurt by a seat belt. If you don't put it on correctly and you are in an accident, well, long story short, you're done, absolutely finished. Another is it can be uncomfortable, especially to those with weight issues. And to those who are concerned of the trivial matter of how they look or having 'street cred' will find that wearing a seat belt greatly reduces their 'image'.

Sincerely,
Kirstin Jonasson


This letter isn't a insult toward seat belt manufacturers, so if you are a seat belt manufacturer and you're reading this, I am sorry for the pain and anguish I have caused toward your feelings and career. You're cool.

A really late FRIDAY THE 13TH blog, supposed to be done on April 13th

Well, searching my name on Google, I must be very popular. I'm everywhere. I'm in Arizona, University of Winnipeg, Japan, Ontario, and many other places. I also found my blogger, Facebook, and Google.
With the quotations around my name..wow, I'm from Olkahoma and I'm...Dutch? What? This is so cool! I EVEN HAVE TWITTER! I didn't even know that. It even says I was born in 1798 in Finland, and my mom's name is Hertz, AND I got married to a guy with the last name of Rumbo. And I'm on Classmates.com. Oh... and I found my article for our February Newsletter, that's creepy. It even says I went to the Arborg Collegiate from 2005-2009.
You see, I'd love to search myself some more, but this is just freaky.

Jennifer Lawrence Kick-A*s Magazines April 11th 2012

3 magazine covers were shown: Seventeen, Glamour, & Rolling Stone. To tell the truth I read two of these, Seventeen and Rolling Stone.
SEVENTEEN
I'd say the 'Seventeen' magazine is targeted towards females in their teens and early twenties, due to the beauty tricks and the BEST JEANS EVER! Who in their thirties (or older) really cares? Nobody I know does. The words to describe her on this cover is, well I can say what she looks like, she looks like she's having fun. She's sort of putting out there, 'Hey! If you do your hair in a (flirty braid, pretty pony, or lush waves), you'll have as much fun as I am having at the moment!'. No offence to any 'Seventeen' readers (me) or the magazine itself, but isn't that like false advertising? What if they do their hair in whatever style you tell them too, and they end up having some horrible life-altering news thrown at her (or him, I'm not judging)?
The cover advertises good time, all bright and colourful, every model is ALWAYS smiling, as the point I made earlier, if you do this you'll instantly:
                            ~ Get a boyfriend
                            ~ Get a life
                            ~ And; Become a model
Now, I have nothing against that much positivity, I think it's great. But, it sort of sets you up for disappointment. I'm not a 'woe-is-me' type of person, but things aren't always about looks. Like they could look like an ABSOLUTE supermodel with a perfect face structure, but then they could be a b*tch and nobody actually likes them, so a guy would be a little out of the question.
GLAMOUR
'Glamour' is definitely targeted toward fashion-conscious women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Considering the cover has minimal writing and looks a little "mature" or very "couture". Also the fact it describes how to have, and I quote, 'lots more fun in bed'. Jennifer Lawrence looks much older on this cover, I'm guessing it's because the magazine is targeted toward older women, and to please them, "make them feel young", they also need an older woman on the cover. I just want to say, this magazine doesn't really appeal to me, so I don't read it, I cannot tell you THE CONTENT OF THE PAGES, or anything like that.
ROLLING STONE
A magazine based on the rock industry must appeal toward rock-fanatics, mostly in their 20s and 30s, but as a guilty pleasure I must admit, I do read it myself. Jennifer Lawrence, on this cover, expresses sort of a sexuality in her pose, making her look like an older woman, like she is in 'Glamour'. But, I really like the colour scheme, the blues and whites really compliment her skin tone.

I AM...the average of them all. April 09 2012

The top 5 people I spend the most time with are(excluding my family, because my household already exceeds the 5 people):
    ~ Nathanael Plett (Riverton, MB)
    ~ Taylor Palsson (Riverton, MB)
    ~ Emma Semchyshyn (Arborg, MB)
    ~ Lauren Airey (Arborg, MB)
    ~ Susan Song (Arborg, MB)
I would say I am close enough to the average of this group of people, I'd personally say Lauren is the most, absolute average, but I'm a severely close second. So in a way Jim Rohn is right, but still he's wrong (I really like saying when people are wrong). The reason I'd say he's both right and wrong is because (suprisingly) these people I hang out with (excluding Lauren) are straight A students with a determined demeanor, I am a straight C/D student with a non-determined demeanor, Lauren is a straight B student. My life is just great.
If the average was done on my family, I am definately the average, right in the middle.

My Understanding of 100 Items April 4th 2012

If there was only 100 songs that I could possibly keep as of today, they would be the following (I'll only name 3, because really, who can count?)
-"All Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix. This guy is a mean guitar player, he is best of them all.
-"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. Such a catchy song, and 'Teen Spirit' used to be a deodorant, who wouldn't love it?
-"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin. My sad song, if I'm sad this is the song that suddenly appears on my CD.
3 Children Stories:
- Green Eggs & Ham- Dr.Seuss (I won't eat Green Eggs & Ham Sam I Am.)
- The Lorax- Dr. Seuss
- Any Scooby Doo books
 TV Shows:
- Repo Games. (My favourite is the "Straight A" student, who when asked, 'Who flew a kite in a thunderstorm to prove lightning was a form of electricity?' She said Bill Clinton. IT'S BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!)
- Sesame Street. (There has to be something for the kids, also this is one of my guilty pleasures)
           Specifically all the songs, stories, and shows I have listed off all are catchy and amazing (In my mind anyway.)