Monday, 11 June 2012

FICTIONAL FRIENDS ♪☺☻♫ June 11th 2012


If I were to have a friend who doesn't exist (all of them!). Okay, I'm just kidding, but for a more serious matter, if I were to truly have a fictional friend, it would definately be Peter Griffin. Who wouldn't want him as a friend? He's funny and not very logical. Though I should admit he DOES have some logic behind his actions. And any experiences I'd have with him would be.... different. Plus, I'd definately re-do Jackass with him and his friends, I'd so be the camerawoman. You know, so I don't have to go through any pain.

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Elderly B*tchfest! June 7th 2012

So, imagine if that blink song by that country dude. Well, as the computer neighbour informed me, it's called 'Don't Blink' by Kenny Whats-his-name. His last name has something to do with trees. But, anyway, that song is pretty much talking about if you blink your life will sort of zoom on by. Kind of like, You're here getting married, don't mind me and they slide to their kids moving out. Now, I've only heard this song like once or twice so cut me some slack.
But let's say it's something like THAT song and 'Back to the Future' (actually now that I think about it, I want to watch that movie), and I blink multiple times and jump into a car and zoom through my life...until I'm an old woman. 80 years old at that, and I'm a grumpy old woman with 3 kids and a husband who died about 3 years before. (Notice those 3's?) And I'm a major complainer, MAJOR! So, here's me complaining, don't mind me...

Kids these days! I swear, they are so whiny! 'I want this! I want that! My friends have blackberry phones, why can't I!? NOBODY LOVES ME!!!' Ok, YOU DON'T NEED A FREAKING BLACKBERRY!! If you have 3 buisnesses and you work and you fly around the world, be my guest, but 10 year olds who major trips involve going to the supermarket, you shouldn't even HAVE a cell phone, never mind a Blackberry. Now I'm going to take a minor detour here back as a Grade 9, even NOW I don't think ANYONE who doesn't own a buisness or travels a lot needs a Blackberry, I literally do not! I have nothing else to say. I lose more faith in humanity EVERY DAY!

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Summer Pa®adise☺ June 5th 2012

I will probably spend summer vacation as I always do, take it as it comes. Let the good times roll. I never plan anything, considering they never actually happen in any way, shape, or form. I (usually) love surprises, so when they come along I take them gratefully. But, if anything were known for sure, I'm going to the EX and the Icelandic Festival with Taylor and I will (most likely) be going camping. Oh! And I'll be 'apprenticing' at a hair salon.
There was one time during summer, around mid-August, and I was in the city with Lauren when I saw the most interesting sight ever. There was this really tall guy (at LEAST 6' 6", he was HUGE) and this really short woman about 20 years old (maybe like 5 feet tall). Lauren was in the bathroom, but this guy was wearing skinny jeans and a beret (a BERET) and this HUGE beard, while the woman was wearing a super-short hot pink denim skirt with a low-cut tank top. Her fingernails were like three inches long! Yes, well, there were making out on those vibrating chairs, and OH! it was hilarious, I couldn't help but laugh. Not because I'm rude, it was just funny.
To whom it may concern,

I am a long-time resident of Arborg, Manitoba and I am shocked at the laziness that has come about for the entertainment of students. How many students do you know that are going to meet at Chicken Chef for some 'coffee' or stop at Home Hardware for tools? Explain that to me. There is only so much a student can go to the pool or to the Bargain Shop during the summer. Yes, there is a drop-in center which is great and everything, but how about the younger kids, like the 12-and-under year olds?The ones that aren't in grade 7 or 13 years old yet. They have a community pool, lots of choice there.

I have many suggestions for the youth of Arborg, maybe have a concert of some sort with local bands, OR maybe have a Laser/ Paintball Tag thing. There are many things we could do to entertain the youth, but these are just two ideas.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Recommendation Station ☼ May 31st 2012

Things I truly and gratefully recommend...
         1. Laughing at the ironicness of 'The Real Housewives of Vancouver'.
Yes, that terrible show on once every week. By ironicness I mean this one woman who complains, "I AM SO POOR!" Then the week after that. "I'm going out for lunch with Mary, I like to fly my plane into the city so I don't have to bother with driving." She lives about one mile outside of the city! If she's poor, I'm barely scraping by.
         2. Southern Gravy & Biscuits
I have family members from the South (they say y'all and EVERYTHING!) and whenever I see them they make homemade gravy and biscuits. The. Best. Frickin'. Food. EVER!!!
         3. Lobster
When this red-hot dish is served with shell crackers and melted butter, it makes the angel's sing while riding down a rainbow on a unicorn pegasus that can play the piccolo.
         4. The sound of a child's laughter
Peter Griffin got something right when he said this is the greatest gift. Plus, they just have hilarious laughs.
         5. Power 97.5
Who doesn't love rock n' roll?? This is a personal favourite of mine, though it sucks that this station doesn't work out here.


Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Blue Foam May 29th 2012

First off, I'd like to begin by saying, It's my birthday. YAAAAYYY!!!

This story starts in a world many galaxies away, a young leviathan* was roaming the ocean floor, his patience dropping. His mother had gone out to get pepperoni hot pockets TWO DAYS AGO! Now two days later, she still hasn't arrived. Ah! There she is now!
"Mother! I have been starving for days! Where are my frickin' hot pockets!," the prince bellowed, shaking the ocean floor. The mother, queen Tabithia, sighed, "Here, dear." He rummaged through the bag and shrieked, "ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE???! I SAID PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS!" Queen Tabithia sighed and said in a quiet, shaky voice, "No, dear." She slowly swam away. The prince was enveloped with rage, how dare she not follow my orders? I'm the man! I'm stronger than she is, my cranium is larger, and I am more likely to go to prison, I AM THE MAN!!

Meanwhile, Queen Tabithia was silently sobbing in her room. Her son is a no-good lying b*stard, but she lets him be one. "Well I could..... NO NO," she thought shaking her head, "that'd be insane, but, still...."

She didn't need much prodding when she made up her mind....

"PRINCE IS DEAD!", a newspaper boy shouted," READ ALL ABOUT IT!!"....

As you could guess, the messenger of the prince killed him. Would you like to know how? The answer was blue foam.

* A giant sea creature with glowing eyes and a nasty habit of crushing ships and devouring ocean-going humans. With its enormous body and scaly skin, Leviathan is usually referred to as a giant monstrous fish, but is also commonly described as a serpent, crocodile or marine mammal.


Wednesday, 16 May 2012

The Day's of the Week Personalities April 24 2012

The blog prompt tells us to name the days of the week as personalities.
Many of us are aware of the rhyme 'Monday's Child' by A. E Brays
          Monday's child is fair of face

Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay
Just so you know 'Sabbath Day' (in religious terms) is Sunday, traditionally a day of worship. But, in my books, the days of personalities go as follows.
  •    Monday is a grumpy businesswoman. She walks up and down the hallways and sidewalks, high heels clacking, screaming into her mobile phone, and (if outside) her hair blows out behind her. She pretty much ruins everyone lives, causes stress, and everyone is scared to speak up to her. She's just there, much to everyone's dislike. Her clothes are a mixture of Marc Jacobs, Prada, and Gucci and she prefers Louis Vuitton $650 handbags to WalMart briefcases at a price of $35. Blackberries are her phone of choice, and despite the rumours of a childcare facility in the basement of her multimillion dollar company, her and her employees look like they've never given birth to anything. Never mind a child.
  •    Tuesday is a timid old grandmother. She sits in her rocking chair by the fire, quietly knitting, biting her bitter tongue. She is just in the background, not a big force behind things. She has many ideas and complaints, but she holds it back to keep herself under radar. Her thrift-store muumuu hides her flabby body figure and she favours socks and sandals (ugh!) on her scraggly feet. A curly snow-white bob sits atop her head, glasses on a string nestles in the soft hair. She talks in a quiet, soft voice, like talking to a wild animal she doesn't wish to harm or frighten.
  •    Wednesday is a happy child. The knowledge of knowing that the weekend is coming near, two days of complete freedom, has it bouncing.
  •    Thursday is a lazy slob. He sits there like a log, he doesn't work and all he does is sleep and eat. Thursday is a very long, tiring day, even if you do nothing. All you think about is our good friend Friday. He has a wife-beater on and wears pregnancy pants since he can't fit regular pants. Beer and fried chicken are his best friends and he has a prominent beer gut. Many people fear he's an alcoholic.
  •    Friday is a tattooed drag queen. A thing you're always amazed to see, even though it comes around once a week for 24 hours.
  •    Saturday is a party-ridden teenager.

PaintSplatter-Topia May 16th 2012

Pretty much the point the picture is making is that school is all organized into a schedule and such and life is a bunch of random paint splatters. Showing that school is nothing like life, which I totally agree with, on the academic side anyway, in life everything is unexpected while in school you know that (FOR EXAMPLE) have biology first then gym and after that math. You have no huge surprises flying at your face, or the uncertainity, you have a set life.
But, life, for example, you never know what's going to happen, you could get hit by a truck tommorow, OR you might save someones life (it just has to work. DURACELL. Trusted Everywhere.)

You didn't see that coming did you?
That was just life flying toward you in the face.

I think all the drama that goes on at school (relationships and such), school is close enough to life. Academics are just fine the way they are.